Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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