Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
