Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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