I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
