Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
