Dual....:-)
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
