You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
