I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
