the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
