If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
