What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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