What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
