The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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