This house was built for laser tag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
