Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
