He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
