If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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