btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
