He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
