I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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