Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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