I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
