with your own penis?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
