wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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