The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
