i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
