I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
