Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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