Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
