Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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