I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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