She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
