So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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