i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dear god my vagina.
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