Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
