I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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