lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
