his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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