i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
