I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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