bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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