you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
