summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
