I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
