Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
