so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
ugly people sure do ruin things
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
