dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
