And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
