she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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