i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dicks are not precious.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
