I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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