How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
