brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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