So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
